Is Your Partner Saying “NO” To Your Career Dreams?

I can tell you many interesting tales from my experiences helping people improve their careers. One that sticks out in my mind involves a candidate who landed their dream job but in the end had to turn it down. Here’s the story:

“Honey, it’s time for you to make a change.”

This was all the push my candidate needed. So with his partner’s encouragement and explicit assurance that job location didn’t matter, he started the search for more meaningful employment.  He soon received a call from a recruiter (me!) working on an opportunity that exactly matched his skill set and offered everything he was looking for. The job would require him and his family to relocate to another state.  No problem, since location wasn’t an issue.

I set up my candidate for a phone interview with the hiring manager.  Soon he was driving out to the facility to meet the company’s leadership.  He returned home feeling positive about how the interview went, anxiously awaiting my call with feedback. The feedback was better than good. A formal offer immediately followed. They were willing to give him everything he wanted and more.

Then the bottom fell out. When my candidate shared the news with his spouse the exultation he felt wasn’t mutual. The truth came out. “…I never thought you would get the job..” and “..I really don’t want to move again.” Being the good guy my candidate was, he turned down the job for the sake of his marriage.  He was left working at the same job and with 2 big questions.

1. Did he pass up his chance of a lifetime?

2. Does his partner take him seriously and believe in his abilities?

Time will answer both. But I learned something-If my candidate gets another crack at finding his dream job, I will make sure “yes” really means, “yes, I have discussed this with my spouse and we both have decided.”