I’m Sorry I Can’t Help You

I’m sorry I can’t help you but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to help you or that you are helpless…oh hell!

My boss calls me a “classic people pleaser.”

I counter with the lyric from Jewel’s 1990’s ballad, “In the end, only kindness matters.” My boss says Jewel was high and that people pleasing will make a recruiter crazy. Or broke. Or both.

Mondays are the worst. What’s up with Monday making people so depressed about their lost and wayward lives that they reach out to their friendly neighborhood recruiter? They blow up my inbox and my phone. Years ago, I told my boss I wanted to change the bad reputation recruiters have for not getting back to candidates and I made a commitment to call or write back to everyone who reached out to me. I should have committed to curing a disease or patching up the ozone or calming down the Middle East. Something doable!

Here’s a random sampling from this Monday…

A Voice Mail: “Hey Meg, I was doing some reflecting this weekend on my career from a holistic perspective (I don’t even know what that means) and I just wanted to pick your brain for an hour and share some thoughts.”

A LinkedIn Message from a person with NO relevant experience to a posting: “It’s so annoying that they won’t look at someone with no pharma experience, I took several courses on pharma in college, can you maybe re-read my resume and re-submit? I want that job.” (Uh, it sounds like you fill your share of pharma prescriptions too but that doesn’t make you qualified. It’s not my call!)

An Email: “I have been in construction for the last two decades, but everyone tells me I’d be great in sales. I see that is your specialty. I can’t take a step back in salary or work on commission but I’m willing to explore.” (Really, everyone says you’d be good in sales? Well, everyone tells me I sound great when I sing Karaoke but you won’t see me on The Voice anytime soon.)

Sigh. Look, I’m not trying to quash dreams. I’m a people pleaser. Go For It!! But you have to understand the truth: 1) Recruiters are commission people. We eat what we kill, we’re not a dating service. 2) Companies will only pay me a fee for someone who comes from their competition and can start Monday with no training and do the job the guy who left Friday did with no downtime. That’s my world! I want to help you, but I can only help you if you are a talented individual working in my niche and sphere of influence. If you’re not, that doesn’t make you a bad person. Or me either!!